29 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 9:33 a.m.
Listening: Fen Shou Kuai Le (My version.. errkk!! My singing suck! hahaha...)
Buzzi these daes. I wanna do some singing soon... im all excited to sing. Havnt been singing properly all these daes due to my flu n sore throat n fever. Argh!
Finally im feelin betta, juz wif a little flu... Anyway my bdae is cumin... this sun... Sad to say, im feelin rather emotional wif the approach of the date... wonder y? Was bombarded wif ICQ msgs and online greeting cards just a moment ago when i login. All of them are my new/old net frenz... Thanx ppl!! But that set me into thinkin again. So wheres my real frenz, as in those that i noe personally outside the little monitor screen? Do they noe hw much i actually miss them? Was just chattin wif mum yesterdae nite abt my frenz... tokin abt hw everyone is buzzi wif their own stuff... YES! even during holidae, no one seem to hav time to spare wif anyone. *ponder* I guess we cant really blame anyone in particular for this yah? This is happening on everyone's life and whos nt acting this way? Im gulity for this too... im behavin like that as well... haizzz...
27 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 9:08 a.m.
Actually type a half-entry last nite but decided nt to post it afterall. Anyway, i had a long tok wif HIM yesterdae. We tok so much...so much... we practically tok abt our frenz.. our views on frenzship and relationship, tok abt our Mum, our life etc. I felt so vulnerable... i cried. i cried so hard... *silly me*... Somehw i realised hw impt frenz and family are impt to me... and of course nt forgetting HIM. I simply cant stand those ppl who treat frenzship like SHIT!!!... mayb its all their prob i shld nt b too bothered abt it but i just cant seem to hack care such rotten attitude these ppl can hav. I really hope these ppl just leave me n my frenz alone... If all they care abt is themselve, can they just stop pretending. FAKIE!!
Mayb its due to the approach of my bdae, i feel so frenzless... dunno y but i just feel that way... I realised hw much i really really miss my frenz. i miss willie, jiali, laihuay, xiaolan, evelyn, kim, marvin, dahua, weilun, zhijian, honteng, ah quak, qiao, ah ling, ah hong, apple, PP, siyi... blah blah blah... It always seem to many others that im so frenzfull but y do i still feel so frenzless?
Watch "The Phone" wif tinGtinG yesterdae. The shw was damn gd!! *thumbz Up*... Its one of the best horror shw i've seen. The storyline was "there", effect "was nothing-to-say" and the acting skiil of the little gal in the shw was wow wow wow wow wow.... GOOD!!... This is the 1st shw that i've watched so far that 40% of the time, i was watchin the shw wif my hands on my face just wif a little gap that i can peep from... whahahhahahaa... i sure look stupid yah? But this shw is really really worth the money!! Anyone who havnt watch the shw, go watch it!! u wun regret!!
Another movie dwn, 2 more to go... actually wanted to watch "Lord of the Ring" and "Ghost Ship", but i've decided to change the movie from "Ghost Ship" to "SwimFan"... hehhee... heard from frenz that "Ghost Ship" is nt nice at all... seem that the shw is onli 1 hr if im nt wrong... hehehe... But wat ever it is, "Lord of the Ring" is top on my piority list now... im awaiting that...
Wanna thanx tinG for the 2 tops she gave me yesterdae. I like both of the shirt/t-shirt. Thanx! Guess i can count that as my bdae present liao yah?..LOLz.. thanx gal!!
Happened to meet Wanting and AhLian when i was on my way out yesterdae. Wanting mentioned sth abt cumin my hse on this fridae wif the rest of the clinque... wonder wat they wan? hehehhe.... frankly speakin, i hav no idea if they come wat can they do here... my hi-fi is spoiled and thus we cant sing... hmmmZ... *dunno*... mayb we will change the gathering to wanting hse instead... but it all depends...
btw, the stupid tagboard is gifin me prob again... haizzz.. i guess "free-stuff" are just like that... argh!! bear wif it ppl... any comments abt anything, leave it in my "view/add comments" at the bottom of the page for the time being okie? hehehe..
time is goin 09:30am, hav to go school for my project meeting and AutoCAD les liao... Our project progress is worryin... *huggiz*
~~*Absence, like death, sets a seal on the imagine of those we hav loved*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 4 daes &
09:29pm
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26 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 1:14 p.m.
Second entry of the dae
If anyone is wonderin y m i updatin at this hr instead of havin my IHPT in skool, im nw in the skool computer lab, or rather the CAD lab, waiting for AutoCAD les to start. Haizz... so sianzz.. y does a PC idiot like me hav to do such complex CAD designs... the thought of it just put me off... =(
Did they turn on the air-con? Yuck! I feel so warm n stuffy... They onli noe hw to collect school fee from us and since i've paid, y m i still feelin so freakin ...freakin... (cant think of a word)... anyway, im just hot and stuffy n pissed!!
Realised that many ppl cannot hear my bkground music AGAIN.. haizz... but nvm, as long as i can hear it yah? hahaha... i like this song so much... hehehe... now i've got the music dwnloaded, the lyrics, and even the ringing tone of this song on my hp... cOOLz!!
Artist: Lauryn Hill
Song Title: Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You
Album: The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
I need you baby, and if it's quite all right
I need you baby to warm a lonely night
I love you baby
Trust in me when I say OK
Oh pretty baby, don't let me down I pray
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
I need you baby, and if it's quite all right
I need you baby to warm a lonely night
I love you baby
Trust in me when I say it's OK
Oh pretty baby, don't let me down I pray
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby
I need you baby, and if it's quite all right
I love you baby to warm a lonely night
I need you baby
Trust in me when I say it's OK
Oh oh pretty baby, don't let me down I pray
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby
Off i go for my lesson... *tu tuuu, tu tuuu, tu tu tuu tu...*
~~*A smile nt onli brighten up ur life, it brighten up others' as well*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 5 daes &
01:26pm
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26 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 2:56 a.m
Update: Yeah! i've changed a new layout in celebration of my bdae. "Birthday Sensation". hehe i noe the title abit kuku ah, but pls bear wif it since i cant think of any betta name on the spot, at this min. Anyway, my 20th bdae will b over in just a week, so juts bear wif me. =P
Since this layout is plainly inspired by my upcumin bdae, there is no doubt that the theme color will b my all time fav color, PURPLE!I hav to admit that im such a PC idiot. I actually spend abt 4 hrs plus to complete this layout. Add a background song which i think nt many ppl can hear it due to some loading prob, but anyway, the song is "Can't Take My Eyes Off You". This is the actual song from that Carlsberg commercial... hhehehe... i love that commercial! Its just so cute. As for this song, pay attention to the lyrics... it is damn sweeeet!! *slurpz*
Other than the minor changes here n there in the layout, i've decided to do away wif the tasklist. All stuffs that i hav to do and will b doin are all updated into my calendar that is viewable by clickin on the "Peep: My Calendar" at the top right hand corner of the page. *smile*
I like this layout of mine. i hope everyone thats here will like it as well. Really hope that thru my exploring wif fontpage and html, i've made an improvement in the site. Pls feel free to gif me any comments be it gd or bad. Let me noe if im improvin anot okie? I just wanna learn. Thanx!!
Tml its gotten b a long dae. Im havin a morning lec at 9am and after that i'll hav to do some survey stuff for my project b4 i get on my way to look for some prof regardin my project again... After that will b the AutoCAD course... argh... long dae to go... hopefully the lecturer will released us by 04:30pm. I really hope so... *prayz*
Off to bed. Im too tired...
#p/s: HE havnt receive any letter from army regardin any cancellation of his recall... hw??*prayz*
~~*Confidence is nt sth that others can gif u. U hav to find it within urself.*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 5 daes &
03:14am
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25 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 12:55 a.m.
Anyone remember that my bdae is just next sun? At least after todae, i noe that THEY remember!! Went for the POA's outing todae in my sicky state but i'll nv regret it and in fact, im glad that i went.
Frankly speakin, i cant really deny the fact that since we havnt meet up wif each other for a long long time, or rather, I havnt meet up wif them since god-noe-when, the usual sense of "super" closeness was nt there(esp wif ah ling and apple). Thats sth that really upset me alot at first when i met them todae. Things just seem different... U cant help but feel that u r losin touch wif wats goin on in their life... Guess its all my fault for nt spendin enuff time wif this grp of frenz and i really hope they'll understand that thats nt the way i wan things to b and i hope everyone of them is happi wif their individual life. But on the other hand, i still feel comfy wif them ard. The usual jokes and stuff just cheer me up alot... thanx pals!!
*tears in my eyes*... A simple blue-berry cake wif a cutie bdae card and a ever-familar bdae song is all i nid to noe that i still hav frenz who havnt forget me at all... mayb im just too emotional but im really touched todae! i nv really expect them to celebrate my bdae for me todae. *wonder if this outing is actually planned to celebrate my bdae?*... im touched and i really am. guess wat? when i was on my way todae, i just happened to remember that Junda bdae is in nov and was wonderin if he organised this outing bcos his bdae is approachin... i even msg apple n ask her abt this but onli to find out that Junda's bdae was long over on 9nov... nv had i expected that they are actually celebrating MY BIRTHDAY!!!
i just wanna let everyone in POA noe that u ppl means alot to me in my life... everyone of u bear an impt part of my memories... Though i may nt b the one who always ask u ppl out n stuff, i hope u all noe that i will never ever forget anyone of u!! ur every little act of concern n warmth is securely locked in my mind... i remember every little bit of love u ppl shw for me and i mean it!! thanx for being there and even if we seldom meet, I PROMISS... I'LL TREASURED OUR FRENZSHIP JUST AS MUCH!!
Special thanx goes to the followin ppl who really warmed up my dae:
Junda
Thanx for organizin this outing regardless the fact if it was done to celebrate my bdae. It gave me a chance to meet up wif u ppl and im thanxful for this chance.
Apple
Gal, thanx for everything todae. Thanx for the card. Read ur msg in the card and i agree wif wat u say. Its effort that makes the diff. I promiss u i'll put my best into establishin n maintaining our BEST frenzship!! i love u n ah ling always as well!! i'll always remember u... always!!
Fengling
Da Jie, so long nv hear u call me xiao mei liao... glad to "see" u call me that in the card again. *smile* i missed those times when we used to go out alot together oso... i promiss i will work hard n u promiss me u will do the same as well okie? nv gif up on urself, neither look dwn on urself. I noe u can do it cos u r my da jie!! jia you yoh!!
Shimin, Citing and Adrian
Really wanna thanx u ppl for the cake and the card. i really did njoy myself todae and all thanx to u ppl, i feel blessed!! =)
I dun noe wat else to say. Thanx for the mini bdae celebration, really thanx!!
Even wif my sore voice, i sang alot todae as well. Though i dun sing as well as ah min and apple, i really love singing. Todae's singing session was a long one. We actually sang for 6hrs... whahhahaha... really sing dao baobao. i was contented by the fact that wif my sore voice, i could acually get a highest score of 88... hahahhaa... that was for singing an old song... guess im just an old lady who cant catch up wif the new trend... LOLz... Junda was the lime light of the dae!! He really zhen ren bu lou xiang... hahaha... highest score was set by him.. 91!! hahahha... he really did get lotsa suaning from us for that... singing was so much fun. acc wif the jokes and laughters, i was totally engrossed in the fun. Im awaiting another outing like this. Miss u ppls!!
Another piece of good news. Theres a very high possibility that HIS "recall back to army" will b cancel. wow!! i was so happi when HE called n told me that. I was all prepared to spend my bdae either alone or wif some gd frenz and this piece of gd new really make my dae! This means that theres a very high possibility of me seeing HIM on my bdae! yeah~!~!~!... for once i hope that the watever army place he was supposed to b recall bk to, to burn dwn in flame within this week... hehehhe... no injury pls... just the place... whhahahaha... *evil grin*...
#p/s: I oready noe wats dAr and mummy gifin me as bdae present. hehehe... will update when the time comes... *smile*
~~*Be thanxful to all the blessings given to you by god. These are the things that truely belong to you*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 6 daes &
01:56am
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24 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 10:29 a.m.
Second entry of the dae
Had a long sleep... feelin much betta now =) When i was out yesterdae, realised that both my hp batt had ran out and that left me paralysed. Now i realised hw dependent i m on my hp... kekeke... no gd no gd... last nite i spend a long time replyin lotsa sms that was send to me durin that period of time whereby my phone was off... nw i cant imagine my life w/o my hp... hehehe
received several msgs from POA. They was askin if im gotten turn up for todae's outing... hehehe... nw that im feelin much betta, expect wif a little headache and flu and plus my throat nt that well yet, IM FINE!!! seriously think that i will go for todae's outing... i miss them so much that i cant bear nt to go... i missed the last POA's chalet last christmas and i dun wanna miss another chance of meeting up wif them anymore... hehhehe... ok!! decided, unless i feel very sick again later, I WILL GO FOR THE KTV SESSION!!! *chOyz*
*sniff sniff*... time for breakfast... daddy just came bk from outside, after buying BIG breafast from Mac for all of us!!... yeah... thanx Dad!!...
im feelin much betta nw. Both physically and emotionally... hehehe... i really hope to njoy myself b4 the start of another week of IHPT... next week's IHPT will b on CAD1... god noe hw difficult it will be... *bless*
anyway, i did this quiz earlier when i was surfin michelle's webby... see my results!!
Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate
Information on personality disorders is found below.
Paranoid
Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships with others. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant to others. They usually shift blame to others and tend to carry long grudges.
Schizoid
People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."
Schizotypal
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.
Antisocial
A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often agressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.
Borderline
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing themselves injury. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. They think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.
Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.
Narcissistic
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.
Avoidant
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.
Dependent
Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.
Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.
~~*For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 7 daes &
10:59am
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24 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 12:02 a.m.
very very very sick nw
my head is spinning(havin a fever), havin a running nose and a very bad sore throat
despite my illness, i went ahead for the ktv session todae
did njoyed myself wif kaili and sumei at violet 3 until 5pm(a short session)
i love to sing but wif my "sexy" voice, i think i sound er xin!!
we even agreed to go play pool and go Kbox one of these daes
had dinner at a "so-called" restaurant which serve the most delicious chicken rice and nonya torfu
went to meet HIM, sanjay and sanjay's gf at city hall
walked all the way to boat quay for some shw that was on for charity
i was too sick to njoy myself
can feel my whole body burning
can see that HE's feelin very bored as well
guess i spoile HIS mood tonite
im very sorrie for that
took a cab hm
he refused to let me take the train
so fierce yet so sweet
i'll take care of myself
im all ready to go n sleep oready
eyes are closin, head is hurting and im feelin lousy
guess i'll hav to gif tml's POA outing a miss
freak!!
i really wanted to go
i miss everyone in POA
will make the decision later
hopefully i can get betta by tml morning
on one hand i wanna sing, on the other i think i nid to rest
tough decision
todae is nt a gd dae at all
i cant find the keys when i was goin out
no choice, took my bro's keys
was very late n had to take a cab dwn to "violet"
the ktv session was so short!!
wanted to sing more but wif my illness, how can i go tml?
Spend alot of money todae on the cabS fare, ktv session and dinner
hav to go rest
im feelin LOUSY!!
~~*All i nid to get well is a shoulder that i can lie on when im sick, someone to whisper softly into my ear and gif me a kiss on my forehead*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 7 daes &
12:16am
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23 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 4:34 a.m.
*Ah chOOOoOoOoO*
My nose is running away... Having a flu since yesterdae. It got more serious after last nite, after i stayed up the nite studyin for my ISM quiz todae... *sniff-sniff* Just pop some pills for my flu n fever wif tonnes tonnes of water... *yuck!!*... the pills suck and the plain water is nt any betta... errkkk!!
After a draggy week, the weekend is finally here!! im suppose to hav two KTV sessions for the weekend but nw wif my sore throat, i dunno wat to do anymore... hope that the pills n plain water that i ate will help... THEY MUST HELP!! im nt gotten miss these KTV session no matter wat... hehee... it had been so long since i last sang ^_^ and i was lookin forward to this weekend for so long...
*blow nose*... just nw after dinner, dad was flippin thru the papers when he suddenly said, "If i buy a new hi-fi set for u which one u wan?" *pointing to the papers*... i was like "question marks everywhere?"... Daddy is so nice... he noe that ever since my hi-fi set in my room is spoile, i couldnt hav my regular KTV sessions at hm and i was really upset abt it... but on my part, i dun wan a hi-fi set anymore... or rather i dun wan it now... i dun wanna add on to daddy's burden and perhaps i can wk my way to savin up til i get the money for a brand new hi-fi set... *smile*... yeah, i think thats wat i'll do... it always feel gd to stand on ur own feet!!
*look at calendar* finally two weeks of IHPT is over, three more weeks to go... *argh*... compare to last week where we onli had project meetings and lectures on safety construction for the whole week, this week was relatively more "hands-on". This week we managed to learn hw to use quite a number of apparatus and im glad that im learning... Actually after Mondae and Tues lec, from wed til todae, the course was all abt handling the apparatus and the apparatus that im tokin abt here is those apparatus whereby u can ocassionally see those "construction-people" using it on the road. these apparatus are supposed to measure the land height, level n some networks locations. other than all these hands-on sessions(where we are graded and treated as tests), we had an online quiz todae as well, It consist of 30 qns and i was so happi when i saw that 35/50 shown on the PC screen... wow!! class average was 31.77 i think. im contented... at least my effort of attending the lec n stayin up to study for the quiz was nt wasted... watever it is, im just glad that its over!!! ^-^
Yesterdae, or rather the dae b4 yesterdae(thu), i went to play pool at Lot1 wif Wanting n Ah Lian... hehehe.. though i dun really noe hw to play, it was fun n i really njoyed myself... we were even dissusin if we shld go cheong next fri in celebration of my bdae... hahahaha... but most likely i guess its nt gotten n ONz i think... cant really think of who to call along... haizzz... anyway, i really did njoyed myself that dae... thats all that matter... the two gals are forever that cute n funnie.. *kOkz*
its oready 5am+, i had betta catch some sleep... dun wanna oversleep for tml KTV session... Oh yah, did i mention that im goin to the same KTV for these two daes and thats "viOlet"... hahhahaha... *shall start prayin that i get well by tml morning*...
~~*A positive attitude can goes a long long way*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 8 daes &
05:13am
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18 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 6:13 p.m.
Second entry of the dae
Its almost dinner time... wheres everyone? Daddy is nt home from wk yet, Mummy seems to hav gone out after her work and my notti little bro dunno go where n hav fun oready... im all alone at hm... I can feel the wind blowin... Though i do enjoy the quietness when i hav the whole hse to myself, nw im feelin a little lonely and hungry... okok, i admit i feel more hungry than lonely... hehehe... =P
i tried surfin ard the web for information regardin my IHPT project but to no avail. feelin kinda sianz these daes... life seems to be getting nowhere...
Saw this joke in my mail and i thought mayb i can share it wif everyone here... A joke to spice up life a little...
Her Side of the Story :
He was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a pub for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk a bit more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny.
I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything, this is really worrying me.
We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV, and sat with a distant look in his eyes that seemed to say it's all over between us.
Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, he responded to my advances . But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else and that my life is a disaster.
His Side of the Story:
Liverpool lost to Man U...
*BURST INTO LAUGHTERS*... wat the freak??... hahahaha... this sure is funnie, at least to me. Gals are born to b sensitive i guess but isnt that the best thing abt gals?
Being in a relationship is no easy task at all. We learn as we grow TOGETHER. In nature, guys and gals are really different... n i mean REALLY DIFFERENT!! Since we chose to put two totally different persons together in a relationship, of course it will takes lotsa time n effort. With a little more care and concern plus a little more understandin and love, it makes the whole experience a lasting one... always bear in mind that ur partner is nt U, of course they dun think the way u do, dun do things the way u do... we shld just try to understand the fact that by being different, ur partner is unique yah? n isnt thats exactly the reason y had u fallen in love in him/her at the very 1st place? the reason is clear... he/she is just himself/herself... he/she is just NOT anyone else... *smile*
before u ever, ever get angry wif him/her, just think... izzit just him/her or izzit just guys/gals. wat im tryin to say is that sometime their insensitive or lack of understanding may not totally b their fault... get urself a new bf/gf and u see the same prob happening again... sometime its just the different thinkin and approach to doin stuffs between the different sex rather than that particular him/her... if u wan a lasting relationship, both parties hav to put in effort and try to understand each other. Love is always two-way traffic...
Some Tips for Couple
How To Be A Better Couple
10 steps to enjoying each other better...
1. Be realistic about each other.
Don't try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let's face it, guys-there's only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials or treatments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so u're gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye.
2. Always talk things out.
Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don't make assumptions about each other's feelings. Learn to xpress urself better so that ur partner undrstands what u're angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it's the beginning of the end.
3. Do stuff together.
Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or involve urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccer with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If u're spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it's a warning sign that u're drifting apart!!!
4. Meet each other halfway.
If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the "The_Rock" print, u shouldn't kick up much of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy. There's gotta be a little giving and taking in a relationship, so learn to meet each other halfway.
5.Show ur love
Buy her flowers or candy or perfume everynow and then, even if u have been together for 5years. It's wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine's Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can't wear ( like for decoration purposes => ), buy him a packet of milk for breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him...so he knows u can still be romantic and loving despite having been together for quite a while.
6. Respect each other.
Stop making jokes about her hair or skin, or whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask urself if she thinks if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel worse! Love is about respecting each other's feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times.
7. Bury the past.
Stop bringing up the past. Gals..don't bring up the happy things about u and ur ex to ur guy, it would jus make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don't talk about the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel un-happy and she might think that u saying all this b'cos u are gonna get back with ur ex or not interested in her anymore.
8. Sit on ur jealousy.
All of us go thru' spells of insecurity at the beginning of the relationship, but don't translate that insecurity into jealousy. If u're gonna go through ur partner's mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on conversations, u know something is wrong - with u!!! Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru' the relationship before finally killing it. Trust ur partner; love has to have trust in it.
9. Keep ur commitments to each other.
If ur partner is standing u up all the time and cancelling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk! If u're in a relationship, make ur partner ur priority and don't disappoint them if u can help it. It's really terrible when someone promises to take u to dinner, and then calls to cancel it. Don't make promises u can't keep. If ur partner starts to feel that he/she is not important enough to u, u may jus lose him/her.
10. Be honest.
Honesty is not scowling at how awful she looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he has the biceps of a fly~! When we say "be honest", we mean expressing ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel. When u're hurt, say so, and when u're angry, tell him/her, w/o getting hysterical. If u can't be honest with ur partner, who can u be honest with? Love is also about honesty, and a relationship where no honesty exists probably isn't worth it!
hows this article? i kinda feel that its true to a certain extent. everyone of us is learnin... learning to be a betta partner... just for him i will learn... ^_*
~~*If anyone should say to be attached is difficult, i will say that to STAY attached is even more tough*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 13 daes &
06:55pm
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18 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 4:21 p.m.
Fireflies
Does anyone ever think of the life of a little bug like firefly?
Are little things in nature meant to b neglected?
Just watched a little documentary(?) on fireflies. It reminds me of my little gal's dreamz of wanting to see fireflies in action at nite(added into my wishlist). I used to wonder y n hw can a little tiny winy bug like it glow? In my mind, i can picture it glowin its little light in the nite. I can picture a whole lotsa them flyin slowly on an open field wif the gentle wind blowin... The stars are shinning, the fireflies are glowing, the wind is blowing...
~~*It starts to rain at my place... the coolin atmosphere set me into thinkin even more*~~
When i was younger, there used to b a song by the name of "Ying Huo Cong" (Fireflies). It is a calm n gentle song i will say. i used to like this song very much when i was still a little gal. i like this song so much that i even went to learn hw to play this song on the keyboard (wonder if i still remember? =P ) It has been so long since i last heard this song... *hummin the song*...
~~~*Ying Huo Cong, Ying Huo Cong man man fei... xia ye li, xia ye li feng qing cui... pa hei de hai zi an xin shui ba, rang ying huo cong gei ni yi tian guang... ran shao xiao xiao sheng ming zai ye wan, wei ye li de liu ren zhao liang fang xiang... duan zhan de sheng ming nu li de fa guang... rang hei an de shi jie cong man xi wang...*~~~
Such a small insect it is but wat a strong will to stay alive it has. Even though they onli hav a life span of 2 mths, they try their best to glow in the dark... no matter hw weak the light seem to be...
Some lessons we shld learn from little bugs like fireflies.
In life, we shld let our light shine, no matter how small.
We shldnt b afraid to fly in the dark cos its always after the dark that we see light.
Life is short, so all the more we shld shine while we can.
The strong will to live in nature that fireflies possess is sth everyone shld learn from.
Always believe in yourself cos even an ugly bug can be beautiful.
Its often the process than the destination thats important in life...
~~*Shine all you can in your life. U nv when will u ever get a chance to try again*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 13 daes &
04:56pm
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17 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 5:50 p.m.
UPDATE: Added a new feature in the page, My Calendar. The link is at the top of the page if u can locate it. "Peek @ My Calendar". With this calendar function, i will very soon do away wif my tasklist. Hope that will make the page neater. Any comments? Drop it in my taG pls!! >_<
One weekend is over just like that... Just yesterdae, i realised that my bdae is exactly two weeks away. Somehow the bdae mood is nt there this year. Not that i hav the bdae mood for the past few years but somehow, just somehow i feel different. I feel cold this year. Maybe i shouldnt bother so much abt bdae. Afterall, its just another dae. *wonder* i wonder if anyone remembers my bdae... i wonder if anyone remembers me at all... i really wonder...
Felt so bad that dae(fridae). I was actually supposed to acc him to hospital to visit his uncle whos in hospital but i din. lessons ended late but thats nt an excuse, isnt it? When i called him after my lesson, he was oready reachin the hospital. HmMmMmm... i broke my promiss. i promiss to acc him but i din and end up he went there all alone. And guess wat, our little guilty gf here actually went to watch a movie after breakin her promiss... Oh well, i sure make a GOOD GF.. *slapz myself*
Anyway, i watched HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS wif tinG on fridae nite. Wat else can i say abt the shw... It is definately a MUST watch!! its really worth the price... actually even if the ticket is worth $10 or even more, i'll still watch it.. thats how gd the shw is.. really!! The special effect in the movie was wonderful, the plot was as exciting as b4 and most of all, the cast was really really GOOD!! *thumbs up*... The three kids who played the roles of Harry Potter(Daniel Radcliffe), Ron Weasley(Rupert Grint) and Hermione Granger(Emma Watson) really can fully capture ur attention into the shw... esp for me, i love that gal who played Hermione in the shw... shes just such a pretty little gal who know-it-all... i really wish to watch the shw again... nw im waiting for the VCD to be out so that my bro can buy it and i can watch it again!! cOOLz!!
In less than 2 weeks, "Harry Potter" is oready my 5th movie following "Sweet Home Alabama", "Double Vision", "Halloween: Resurrection" and "Returner"... i sure did njoyed myself watchin all these movies... im really becomin a movie freak. Now, im awaiting for "Lord of the Ring", "The Phone" and "Ghost Ship"... i guess movies are all that can really brighten up my holidae this time... =)
*lOOk at my wallet*... im broke, really broke after watchin so many movies these daes.. movies tickets are nt cheap nowadaes... i was offered a tution offer yesterdae n im seriously considerin if i shld take that up. im really broke nw but i will say the pay is really nt attractive considerin the transport fee and such. Moreover, im worried abt my studies... studies had nv been gd since i step into Uni and i really hope to improve on it. *sigh* Mayb i will decide if i shld get another 1 or 2 tution offer after the release of results. For nw, i shall concentrate on my IHPT. By the way, did i say that IHPT is driving me crazy as well?...^_^
HE came over to my place yesterdae. Im really glad that he's more or less used to my family and stuffs. I can still picture his i-dun-wan-go-ur-hse-lah face that he used to hav... whahhahahaha... he's just so cute to me...(he hates to b refer to CUTE)... *pinch HIS cheeks*... he's so sweet... he noes that im broke, hav no money to go out, and he suggested comin to my place to play PC games(my laptop is much faster)... i did a little cookin, cook some fried rice as dinner for HIM, my bro and myself. Glad that he actually ate quite alot and said that its nice... its just a simple thing but thats all i nid to hear from him... *smile*... Piggy me. i actually fell asleep when he was playin his game and left him to go hm on his own... =P ... i was so guilty that i force myself to wakie n wait for his msg to make sure that he was safely at hm b4 i went bk to sleep...*thump into my bed* .... wat a PIG i am... whahhahahahah
okok. dinner time... hav to go and buy dinner for my bro n myself oready... daddy n mummy is out on their par tor AGAIN!!... wats the world comin to b? daddy n mummy are out on their dates while their son n daughter are to guai guai stay at hm... whahahahaha... =P
~~*a little smile can brighten up one's day, a little pat on the shoulder can goes a long way and a little hope can get u thru ur life like a ray*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 14 daes &
06:50pm
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14 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 11:26 p.m.
Second Entry Of The Day
Just came bk hm nt long ago... feelin tired n sick. My tummy is gifin me prob again... *pain*... earlier this evening, i went to Ochard hereen's sakae sushi for a sushi buffet wif dAr, LianFeng, Dina, Samuel and Ngiap Pong. The sushi was real nice wif lotsa varieties to chose from. i really did eat alot i guess. the whole lot of us(6 of us) actually ate 60plus plates of sushi... imagine that! hehehe.. nw the thought of sushi makes me feel like pukin oready... *disgusted*...
That dinner was very nice but after that dinner im broke... i really did overspend this week... in less than a week since exams are over, i spend $200+ bucks oready... shit!! with no job, no income, i wonder hw m i going to survive thru this holidae... must save must save liao... theres so many things i wanna do n buy but onli when i save up nw, then can i buy then later yah? *pat myself on the shoulder* ... =P
Just recieved an email invitation from phyllis>>>
Hi ppl! I'll be having a chalet at downtown east during my 21st b'dae. Tentatively the BBQ will be on the 4th Jan 2003, Sat. Not confirm whether it'll be 3D2N (3-5 Jan, fri - sun) or 2D1N (4-5 Jan, Sat-Sun)... it will depend on the respond rate and the no of ppl staying overnight. So will need u all to reply me lah... think i'll be booking in early dec as i scare weekend chalet v hard to book.
wow!!21st bdae... it sure feel funnie hearin a frenz whos born in the same yr as u tokin abt her 21st bdae when u havnt even celebrate ur 20th bdae... ehhehehe.. yeah yeah... im ONLI 19... *wonder hw will i celebrate this upcumin bdae?*... when will my 21st bdae comes and wat will it b like?... anyway, feel so glad to recieve sum news from phyllis finally... i wonder if she is still wif that Timothy(her X-bf)... they hav broken up n patch for god-know-hw-many-times... i really hope phyllis can find a guy who seriously treat her well... *prayz*... back to the chalet, yeah im goin!! definately!! i wonder how will that dae b like?(but this will oso mean a real X present for her cos its 21st bdae wor... =( money money money again)... i miss those guys!! miss those daes when POA rulez!!! actually im oready lookin forward to next sat outing(KTV and dinner most likely) wif these ppls... wowowowoow!! its sure gotten b cool!!
~~*I just wanna shw care when u r sick, just wanna gif u a hug when u feel alone, just wanna be a love that never let go... i just wanna be ur frenz.... a true frenz!!*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 17 daes &
11:54pm
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14 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 12:54 p.m.
no school todae... just had breakfast and here i m sitting in front of my laptop trying to figure out sum webby stuffs. feel so irritable... *argh!!*
registered for a homepage last nite(angelfire) but i havnt figure out hw to use it... okok, im just such a PC idiot... *pissed*...i wan n i hope to hav a webby oso but who can understand the difficulties i faced when im trying... im just such a PC idiot n theres no one ard me who noe such stuffs n so who can teach me?!?!when i say im a PC idiot, i really m!!
she was complaining that ivan(another blogger) n me are copyin her webby and goin to her frenz links... other than sorrie i dun noe wat else to say. i keep a diarysite just purely for the interest of writing diary. i din noe she mind it so much. isn't it a fact that "links" are supposed to be viewed? i dunno any facts anymore and i dun noe if she really mind or is she jokin... i just wanna learn something n dun wanna b a ge pi cong as well. is it so difficult?...
just to make her feel betta and bearin the thought of nt wanting her to be unhappi, i spend the past hrs surfin ard tryin to find another free web host... i want to keep the frenzship bet us and i dun wan anyone to b unhappi bcos of me... surf n surf n surf... nothing seems to match angelfire... i was determined to look for another host... found this netfirms that provide 25MB of space... registered n realised that this is even MORE user unfriendly than angelfire... FREAK!!!... i gif up... thats all for todae.. watever that has to b done has to be done another dae...
im starting to loss interest... i hate stress!! when ppl starts to stress me, i start to loss interest... *thinkin*... mayb i shld just stop all this online craps and move on to the real world outside... yeah... mayb i shld... mayb that will make everyone a happier person *weak smile*
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just when im abt to end off this entry, 2 sms came in...
(1) dAr: later mayb goin sushi buffet wif the rest... u wanna come along?
(2) Junda: Theres gotten b a POA outing next sundae. u free?
wow!! they really make my dae... finally theres sth i can look forward to... sth to take my mind off... on the other hand, im broke... seriously broke... currently in a state of financial crisis... *sign*... how i wish... how i wish money just auto top up in my acc.. *crapz*
~~*Theres always so much u must do to please others... when can this obligation ever stop?*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 17 daes &
01:36pm
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13 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 11:03 p.m.
UPDATE: added another new link in the "musical links" and thats j[u]dy's webby.
*Yell alOud!!*... "im so bored!!!"... theres nothing to be done!! or rather, theres alot to be done but im nt interested in doin any one of them nw... im NOT interested in doin research for my IHPT, NOT interested in the TV programs, NOT interested in playing games, NOT interested in listening to music... im basically nt interested in anything nw!!... im just BORED...
linked j[u]dy's webby. Her webby is a chinese webby and when u see it u will noe y i wanna link her... the whole webby is in chinese!! i simply love chinese... i envy her webby so much... i wish to hav a hmpage and if i can ever hav a chinese hmpage it will b a dream come true... =)
just nw i was buzzi tryin to print out OUR icq history. i save it in wordpad, cut and paste each bit by bit into word format and then save it into my laptop. realised that the document was very big(1.38MB) and thus, save it into a diskette instead... all these works just for the thought of preserving the old memories... actually wanted to print out and hav a hard copy of it but how can i actually print out 362 pages??... OMG... *slap forehead*... no choice, i've saved it.
dunno wat to blog for the nite... off for my shower... *Nite tO All*
#p/s: Is there any kind soul who can help me think of ideas for my IHPT? help me thinks of ways for water conservation, energy savings and waste minimisation in campus(school). thanx ppls!!just leave me a comment at the end of the page or email me at celinez_@hotmail.com okie?? i'll b very grateful... ^_*
~~*The worst feeling one can ever feel is to feel unwanted... even by those who u love most*~~
& Countdwn til my bdae: 18 daes &
11:42pm
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12 November, 2002
Entry updated @ 5:33 p.m.
UPDATE: Other than changin the wordings of the marqee on top of the page, i oso did a little updating on the "musical links", added Jess's and Wenni's webbies, "WishList" and "TaskList".
It has been a couple of daes since i last updated my diary. somehow i feel tired... no more exams yet i still feel tired... i wonder y? mayb im just plainly lazy? =P
I did a little updating of the site earlier this afternoon, after i reached hm from my IHPT(sianz). added Jess's and Wenni's webbies. They are two new blog frenz i noe thru readin blogs... they hav pretty nice homepage.. *envy* i wonder when can i ever hav a webby like them?? haizzz.. i oso did a little updating on the "wishlist" and "tasklist". im really glad that a couple of stuffs hav been striked off and be sure to always check out my lists cos i'll constantly add/strike out items accordingly.. *smile*
A frenz was askin me todae hw did dAr and me spend our 1st year anniversary celebration on sundae. That was supposed to b a post-celebration since the actual date fall within our exams period. all i wanna say abt the celebration was that i REALLY REALLY njoyed myself!! though we din do much stuff on that dae other than watchin movie(yes!! i watched my 4th movie in 5 daes) and havin dinner at Edo Sushi, i felt so happy. i totally njoyed that calm n cool n relax atmosphere... no more exams, no more stress... the movie(Returner) was good, the sushi was betta but the company was the best!!...
After so much preparation, i finally completed all the presents i wanted to gif him on time... *so happi*... if onli i hav a scanner, i'll take pictures of all the presents and scan it in here... anyone interested to noe wat i gave him? i gave him a "David Beckham" banner, a "David Beckham" calendar for next year use, a "From me to you" bear bear, a mini photo frame that says "i love u", and most of all.... the ultimate present